8/28/2010

Do you want what you want to want?

It is hard to come to terms with the fact that what you always wanted for yourself is not what you want for yourself anymore.

When you grow up wanting to be an artist, your art is all you care for. When you become an adult you realize that there is more your care for than your art: your significant other, your free time, your family, your lifestyle.

That's when being an artist becomes really hard because in order to be where you always wanted to be, you need for your art to still be the main thing you care of.

The tendency at that point is to want it all. To want to be on top of the top while also have a personal life, a balance, a good lifestyle. But that is when you need to figure out what you want today. To do that, you first need to forget what you always wanted.

When you had those dreams as a teenager, you thought that being on top of the top would be what would bring you everything else: lifestyle, free time, true love. Once you're an adult, it seems clear that the opposite is most likely to happen: that you either have the amazing career by working all the time and having no time left for the other aspects of your life.

Does it mean that you have to give up your art? Not at all. But it's a matter of compromise. If you want it all, you can have it by working in your theatre community in your city instead of heading for Broadway; or you can be another violinist in the orchestra and it's ok if you're not the concertmaster.

In the end, depending on what you truly want, you will feel more successful having a bit of everything than having all of one thing.

The difficulty is when you are in between dreams: the ones you used to have, and the new ones you never knew you had.

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Picture from http://visitsteve.com/made/everything-you-want/

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