Ever want to break free from your art?

I am a musician. On days like today, when I have so much to learn and practice and teach, I loose my ability to enjoy music. I close off and am not passionate about it at all. I just want to go on spring break in Cancun and forget about music forever.

The thing is, I am not just a musician. I am so much more, and I actually like the fact that music is not my entire life. I know so many people that cannot get away from their instrument and that fully define themselves with their art, and it's great for them and a part of me envies that.

I personally love spending three weeks not touching a piano or singing during Christmas break when I go back to France, and that feeling I get back when I finally get back to playing, how new and fun and exciting it is again. I love that when people get worked up in a situation concerning music and theatre, I always have in the back of my mind that it's only music, it's only theatre. There's life outside of it, there are many other important things outside of it.

Is it easy to think that and live as a musician? No, not at all. It sometimes make me feel like an outsider; I often wonder if I'm a fake; I wonder if it shows a lack of commitment to my art.

But somehow, when I think about how not serious music, theatre and art are, that is what actually keeps me
going, because I keep on choosing to do it instead of feeling like a slave to it. It's like any other human relationship, not easy and requiring not only love but also a lot of work, and even more importantly commitment.

I don't know if this makes much sense, but I would love to hear from you guys if you ever think that way too. How do you relate to your art? Do you have a love hate relationship with it? Do you sometimes want to break free from it?

1 comment:

  1. I think Cancun is a great option.

    Beside that, I need to nurture my daily practice with life experiences.
    When I start to think that Music and practice come first, I am overwhelmed by a terrible duty-burden.
    I need to feel free to reach the ideal state of mind required to convey emotions through music. Means of course practice to get rid off the technical difficulties but also feeling alive and free.
    I am sure you know millions ways to send your mind away for express-vacation....even if it s not in Cancun;-)


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