How to date a musician

I am a musician and I'm married to one, so here are the few things I've learned along the way.

1. Daily practice: Most musicians practice every single day, so know in advance that you might never have a full day off with your musician. Weekend getaways and vacations can be rare as well.
   
   When he is practicing, wait before he's done with his piece before talking to him. If you don't, it's the same as interrupting him mid sentence.
   
   If he is using amplification, it's ok for you to ask him to turn the volume down.  You can also ask him to practice in a different room so you can go about your own life at the same time.
   
   Remember that when a musician is practicing, it is work. Don't make fun of his mistakes, avoid making comments on the way he's practicing, and don't ask him to move on to another song. He is working.
   
   
2. Before an important concert: A lot of practical details need to be dealt with when a musician is getting ready for a big performance, so the more you can help with those, the more grateful she will be afterward.
   
   Preparing for an important concert is a stressful time, so if you notice her becoming short or tense on the big day, don't take it personally.
   
   
3. After the concert: Make sure to be one of the firsts to congratulate your musician when he steps off stage. You may think that you are in the way of his audience greeting him, but your opinion matters much more to him, and your presence will comfort him.
   
   Anything that happens after the concert is part of the concert, so whether he wants to go out and celebrate or go home and rest, follow his lead.
   
   Once you're alone with him, make sure to get into the details of what you liked about the performance. This will help him relive the concert so he can get a sense of pride and accomplishment from it.
   
   
4. If you're a musician: When you're a musician too, you will know if your partner is practicing efficiently or not, or if she played that concert well or not.
   
   The most important thing to remember is to not give her your opinion unless she asks for it. If you really must speak up, use extra care and gentleness. Remember that your primary role is to love and support her, not to be her teacher.
   
   Never compete with her,  compare the gigs you each get, or wonder who's better. 

If you follow these guidelines, you might end up to be as lucky as I am today to celebrate another anniversary with my musician!



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